No love found...no love lost!!!

Ram wondered if she will ever love him back as she used to. He misses the lost smile and those deep stare between them. He tries to get busy at work thinking if he ever crosses her mind. Because when he sees his colleague fighting with his friend, misses her. When he sees the smile on his co colleagues face because this morning her closest friend hugged  at office gate just to make her day special...Ram thinks of her.

When was it, i said she means a lot to me and expressed my care for her. Been long. Ram thinks and gazes the park outside his work where two Lil kids playing and laughing. He misses those days where she would laugh all day with him.

Ram knows she means very special to him, his peace of mind, his punching bag. And sometimes substitute to his solitude. But still why the fights, conflicts, differences and sleep over with distaste. Maybe with her he can be himself, no forced put on. He knows she maybe angry but wont judge him. She might be upset but not detest him. She might be hurt but not leave him in his state of oblivion alone to struggle with his thoughts, she will be there always by his side as pillar strength as silent observer.

When he needs her she is there unconditionally, no question asked. When he needs her hug she would take along his hand and stand by him. She is indeed his companion to his self engaged entity. She is special, a friend he can vouch for life.

But why this forced barrier than. Why not communication. Why not letting her know his needs. He feels he cant say it because nothing left between them and of long silence between them. But again if he loves her that why not the effort.

Ram, my friend talk to her. Maybe what you feel, she might feel same and Lil communication would make it easy for both to ditch past troubles and differences and what u looking in others stays with u forever.

Give it a try. Look deep inside her eyes, feel her pain and embrace her back. Love is still in the air u just need to catch hold of it. You need her, as much she needs you.

Ram feels.... WE SHOULD GIVE US A CHANCE AGAIN!!!

Love which we often find around us sometimes is with us and we don't realize because we are blinded with right emotions in wrong situation and vice verse.

Get back your love.

Anonymous!!!

Jotting down the lost thought!!!

 '' Jotting down what my heart says...in erratic form, jumbled feelings, make me let go through my distinct healing. I provide my soul piece of my wind and here i am with my peace of  mind!!!''

Sunday morning, lying on bed. Looking at the ceiling expecting a big little change to happen. Trying to kill the memories which happened because of few defined moments. Feels like the world getting apart and the mysterious future haunting the consequences. Ray of hope seems to challenge the vision. empty mind with myriad thoughts, puzzled-blurred-intangible.

Coming on way to give the Lil hand to handle the state of oblivion. he thought, he would rewrite the lost faith but alas...destiny has other plans. And he is back to his shell with the door Lil ajar anticipating the spark to takes it way back lighting up the soul and getting bk the lost state of peace of mind. He rightly said....yesterday...when he assumed things r shaping up but it was just a alter reality.

Many would feel like him but the buried emotions need a way out. And here he taking that onus of being him again...his solitude taking a turn and he is bk to his mission to jot down the certain thoughts he feels and needs to be shared....

But waiting for the next morning not to be gloomy and the clear weather to somewhere with a smile stretching its hand to hug the oblivious entity.

Good Morning!!!

Why are u so rude??? She asks him.

Entering the world as a boy, moment of joy for the family. Mostly thinking the boy gonna take care of his parents, shall earn for family and thank god we dun have to save money for hos dowry. Thats kinda usual compared to a gal born to a family. I am talking about the indian traditional and conventional mentality. Sweets distributed among the colony, ( ladka hua ji mere beti ko)...badha hoke engineer, doctor, and sum ppl...hero banega. Since birth expectations rise as u r supposed to be strong, powerful, virile and responsible. You being man is expected not to show your emotion, and if u cry than u r 'feminine'. Kinda irony if u show ur feelings u r 'nt a man'. If u speak ur mind than u r rude. If u dont speak and try to be silent, u dont care. Relationships r not handled well by man. Man only care about their work and dun care a shyt abt their loved ones. Strange it can get, but sometimes when u cant let out ur own self...u become little frustrated and u wish the ppl u love adore shud understand you specially if u r an introvert but with time things change, ppl change, intensity of bonding change. And u r back to ur own lonely self. Sometimes you need to pay for your solitude and being loner.
''man dont cry is the usual known fact, but the unknown truth is man feels the pain as much as any woman''....(to be continued)

Resurrection of Devil!!!

Yesterday it seems i was not in good mood. Wonder what is a good mood, but yes was busy working and wanted to be in my world of writing and surfing with the melody on as usual my constant companion. I could not realise i was bit indifferent until my friend commented, '' enjoy your solitude'' sarcastically though and she logged off. But again I always enjoyed  rendezvous with my solitude, and the silence i could relate to than any human interaction. Was feeling little distant from my own folks and starting a conversation was getting difficult. The insomniac in me suddenly reincarnated and i was awake till late though felt little easy later and slept by 6 a.m., as i had to because after 4 and half hours the regular grind called work was about to capture my complete attention without my choice.

Often realised the alter ego in me is a real mirror for me to keep on exploring my inner demon and the good old self. I have always found it difficult to portray being this GOOD IMAGE. I had faced some real competition with the optional good than the real bad in me. But again i felt the honesty lies in understanding what you feel that '' moment''. Its important to acknowledge your real self rather than promoting the idea of the 'best in me'.

When one enters a new phase of life, you are often confused about your own mixed reactions to the surrounding, be it people who are tangible or emotions which are intangible. There is excitement, fear and also sometimes hope and despair because of the various new realities of the current situation which one might have ignored earlier. You get into the minutest details, you try to sort them out, create more difficulties and than solve them with the little intelligence you have developed, learned over the years.

The devil in you constantly challenge your abilities and you try to defeat it with the positive aura around you and the education you had imbibed from your parents, friends, mentors and most importantly 'YOUR EXPERIENCE'.

Point writing this long story is nothing but to let us all know: Never fear the inner devil, let it come across your thinking, mood, emotion, outburst, reaction, silence, solitude...because its better to kill the devil at the inception stage rather than not acknowledging its presence. We all are human and can have our inner demons and bad days...what we always try is to not understand its importance and outcome. To analyse our own actions is very important rather than neglecting its value.

THE DEVIL IS RESURRECTED BUT WITH TIME AND CONSTANT EFFORT WOULD CHANGE THINGS FOR GOOD!!!

Sometimes even PUNCHES r ENJOYABLE!!! Thanks cracku(shwetz)

5 years of togetherness-Bliss called friendship

English translation for jerry!!! and my Birthday cake :D