Yesterday it seems i was not in good mood. Wonder what is a good mood, but yes was busy working and wanted to be in my world of writing and surfing with the melody on as usual my constant companion. I could not realise i was bit indifferent until my friend commented, '' enjoy your solitude'' sarcastically though and she logged off. But again I always enjoyed rendezvous with my solitude, and the silence i could relate to than any human interaction. Was feeling little distant from my own folks and starting a conversation was getting difficult. The insomniac in me suddenly reincarnated and i was awake till late though felt little easy later and slept by 6 a.m., as i had to because after 4 and half hours the regular grind called work was about to capture my complete attention without my choice.
Often realised the alter ego in me is a real mirror for me to keep on exploring my inner demon and the good old self. I have always found it difficult to portray being this GOOD IMAGE. I had faced some real competition with the optional good than the real bad in me. But again i felt the honesty lies in understanding what you feel that '' moment''. Its important to acknowledge your real self rather than promoting the idea of the 'best in me'.
When one enters a new phase of life, you are often confused about your own mixed reactions to the surrounding, be it people who are tangible or emotions which are intangible. There is excitement, fear and also sometimes hope and despair because of the various new realities of the current situation which one might have ignored earlier. You get into the minutest details, you try to sort them out, create more difficulties and than solve them with the little intelligence you have developed, learned over the years.
The devil in you constantly challenge your abilities and you try to defeat it with the positive aura around you and the education you had imbibed from your parents, friends, mentors and most importantly 'YOUR EXPERIENCE'.
Point writing this long story is nothing but to let us all know: Never fear the inner devil, let it come across your thinking, mood, emotion, outburst, reaction, silence, solitude...because its better to kill the devil at the inception stage rather than not acknowledging its presence. We all are human and can have our inner demons and bad days...what we always try is to not understand its importance and outcome. To analyse our own actions is very important rather than neglecting its value.
THE DEVIL IS RESURRECTED BUT WITH TIME AND CONSTANT EFFORT WOULD CHANGE THINGS FOR GOOD!!!
